"I Have HR on the Phone with Me"

Thursday morning, my boss called as I was eating breakfast. We usually talk around noon, but he's been very busy lately.

"Hello," he said. "How are you doing? I have your HR representative here with me."

I knew what was coming. I felt a little numb and a little bit giddy. I pinched myself. Sometimes I have very vivid dreams. Once I dreamed that I'd been in a terrible accident and lost all of my teeth and broke all of my bones, and when I woke up I felt awful about how horrible my day would be. I winced as I raised my hand to my mouth and felt that all of my teeth were present and pristine. Of course, in another dream I won a huge lottery award and woke up planning a wonderful vacation only to realize that I hadn't actually purchased a ticket.

No matter. I was awake and this was real.

I work from home sometimes, so they told me to stay home today and finish up as much as I could. FedEx would arrive later with my severance packet, and I could swap any outstanding work equipment for my personal effects later. Good thing I tidied my desk just before leaving on Christmas break. I brought home a USB mouse a couple of years ago, but they don't really want that back, especially because the buttons stopped working on Wednesday. No joke.

I'd like to think I was professional and businesslike through the call, but mostly that was shock. I did ask about reassignment opportunities, knowing what the answer would be as the company has reassigned me before a couple of times. When they've decided they don't want you, they don't want you. Feel the shun.

"It's not personal," they assured me. "It has nothing to do with your job performance." I know they're required to say that, but I don't buy it. I worked my little tail off for that company. I'm good at my job. That's why I kept getting great performance reviews and bonuses. That's why they promoted me to a manager last year. Maybe it should have been personal. Maybe if it had been, they wouldn't have let me go.

I decided not to rush to my laptop and instead called my girlfriend, my brother, and my parents to tell them the bad news. They took it worse than I did just then. I was still in shock.

How was your Thursday?